Bad People, Great Character

People are horrible. We may not always be willing to admit it, but its true. Left to our own devices, we are capable of the most atrocious acts. Don't let it get you down though, that's what makes us interesting. 

Recently I read M.J. Engh's excellent book Arslan, and I was at once entertained and disgusted. The eponymous main character is an Asian dictator who has recently taken over the majority of the world. Imagine for a second that Hitler and Stalin raised a child to be worse than both of them, and you will have a good idea of what Arslan brings to the table.

Now you may be asking why anyone would want to read a book about such a horrible person, but Arslan is a great character study of a very flawed person. And if the celebrity magazines and Tabloids are any indication, then people love to see flawed humanity.

One of my favorite characters of all time is Rodney McKay form Stargate: Atlantis. True, hes not a character from literature, but he is a character with a whole bunch of-well, character. He is the most arrogant and condescending person on the show (and that's saying something considering some of the villains), always putting others down and never owning up to his own mistakes. Throughout the show he was portrayed as a hypochondriac, a coward, a bigot, and all around sleazeball. Would it surprise you then to know that he had the most screen time of anyone on the show? It doesn't surprise me.

The fact is that we are drawn to people who are most like us. Yes, I just went there. If we are going to be honest with ourselves, we are all flawed in some way, and its these things that make us interesting. I have read books before with characters in them that seem to be too perfect. Charles Dickens had some sickeningly perfect characters, take a look at Tiny Tim. He may have some physical defects, but he has absolutely no character defects. To be perfectly honest, the whole story could have been told without even including Tim. Or at least give Tim some sort of human characteristic. I would have loved to read the scene where Tim derides his father for not standing up to Mr. Scrooge, or maybe curses Scrooge for what hes done. Any human reaction would have been preferable to the Pollyanna attitude that we get from Tim.

But is there a limit? Going back to Arslan, I wonder if a character can be too flawed. I have often heard people talk about saving the cat. Every bad character is supposed to have a save-the-cat moment (like rescuing a kitten from a tree) where we see that they are not so bad after all. Our favorite example would be Darth Vader. Sure he was a really bad guy, but he did sacrifice himself to kill the emperor and restore balance to the galaxy-so there was a glimmer of hope there. Even Darth Vader had a save-the-cat moment! Arslan never had this moment. In fact, I hated him even more at the end of the book than at the start-something I didn't even know would be possible! But despite my disdain for the character, I understand him. Maybe I understand him more than I really wanted to, but that seems to be the whole point of the story. And even worse yet; I can relate to him. Not that I have conquered nations, executed millions, or set up a oppressive dictatorship in my time-but given the chance, I might. Because we are all human-and suffer from the human condition-we are all susceptible to the same follies. We may stand in judgement of others at times, but who is to say we wouldn't make the same
mistakes given the opportunity?

This is (in my opinion) what make truly great speculative fiction though; showing the human condition in all of its glory. When I read a book, I want to see flaws in the characters whether protagonist or antagonist. Maybe showing flaws of the protagonist is actually more important, because we want to see them overcome the odds- and what odds could be greater than your own human nature? So here's a toast to the worst of humanity; may you forever entertain us with the worst you have to offer!

Cinderella Revisited... Again

Many of us are familiar with the story of Cinderella, or at least the sanitized Disney version. But this wasn't the original version. Before Walt made his millions, Charles Perrault adapted a story called Cenerentola and gave us many of the elements of the story that are familiar to us. The fairy godmother, pumpkin carriage, and glass slippers were all his idea.

Later the Brothers Grimm came along and made the story more- well, grim. In the Grimm version, Aschenputtel (the Cinderella character) was told by her dying mother to remain good and kind. She was buried, and a "wishing tree" grew on her grave which became this versions fairy godmother. Also, when Prince Charming comes to find the owner of the slipper, the stepsisters mutilate their feet so they can fit. The Prince realized the treachery when the blood started pouring out. And if that weren't enough, Cinderella's father seemed to be okay with her abuse.

There are many other versions of this story, and small details are always changed to suit. As a creative exercise, let's make a version of our own. And let's make it ridiculous, because that's my style.

Yo, Cinderella!

In this version, Cinderella lives in New Jersey. She works at a diner during the day, and in the evenings she goes to beautician school.

She still has the stepmother, only this time she is a jet-setting hedonist. Often off on a vacation to some idyllic island, she only shows up at the most unexpected times to make Cinderella miserable. Oh, and speaking of miserable, the evil stepsisters are also here. This time however, the stepsisters are some Guido-loving party animals. They often have parties at the house, which Cinderella is usually made to clean up after.

After a really big house party one night, Cinderella is cleaning the house when her stepmother shows up and freaks out. Of course, Cindy is blamed for the mess. After a huge argument, Cinderella flees the house and goes for a walk to cool off.

This is the part of the story where she meets the fairy godmother. I think it would be fun to make the godmother much like the godfather, and add some gangster cred to the story. The godmother takes pity on Cinderella and makes her an offer she cant refuse. Of course- much like the disney version- this character might only exist to move the story along without much logical reasoning behind her arrival. So another possibility is that the godmother is an enemy of the stepmother, this way it makes sense that she would curry favor with Cinderella. Possibly she is Cinderella's actual godmother, and was specifially called upon by the protagonist.

So however it happens, they meet up and they do what most New Jersey women do in times of trouble: go on a shopping spree. The godmother buys her a fabulous dress, and a pair of really expensive shoes.

At the godmothers urging, Cinderella goes to a party that night in a rented limousine. Of course the limo driver is only paid for until midnight to keep in line with the story.  Cinderella meets prince charming, and they have their magical moment together, after which she leaves in a hurry.

The next day, Prince Charming and his goombahs are out scouring the jersey shore for the girl he met the night before. He was a bit inebriated, so he cant remember exactly what she looks like, but he does remember the shoes. When the stepsisters become hip to the Prince's search, they go steal Cinderella's shoes out of her room and put them on to try and trick the guy. But they are so annoying (because they have high pitched Jersey accents and the IQ's of fish), that the Prince decides a romance is not worth pursuing with them.

Cinderella finds out about her stepsisters treachery and liberates her precious shoes. She then goes to work at her diner while wearing the shoes. Of course the Prince comes into the diner, and is so depressed that he only stares at the floor. Cinderella comes over to take his order, and he sees her shoes! He realizes that this is the woman hes been searching for and confesses his love to her.

Re-imagining stories like this can be a great way to get ideas, and it can just be a fun exercise. Try it yourself sometime, and live happily ever after!